Do you see how slim I am? It’s not on purpose and it’s not my nature either; there’s a good reason for me keeping in shape: Mom. She’s a disaster in the kitchen, and besides being unable to fry an egg properly, she always causes accidents. I can’t keep track of all the times the kitchen was on fire (4? 5?) because of something weird she decided to do, despite of our advice to keep out of the kitchen – especially the stove.
She doesn’t pay attention to our advice and we have to eat what she prepares – or at least we eat what we can – so we live constantly on an undesired diet.
The last time she tried to prepare roast beef the result was a burning kitchen; Dad could barely save the family and extinguish the fire. When she goes to the kitchen we start fearing for our lives (and stomachs) and thinking of a sickness we’ll fake in order to avoid the “result”.
Despite the bad cook we have at home, our house is always full of guests for lunch and dinner. I suspect they come just to have fun watching the disasters. And – of course – they want to be the first to tell our friends what her latest calamity was like.
